:( you should stay
I wish I could =/ <3
mannyv replied to your post: Just finished transferring all my original content…
Hope you feel better
Thank youu so much.
Just finished transferring all my original content and deleting stuff. =’|
I need to stop crying lol. I just feel like I’m saying goodbye to a dear friend.
I am not going to do permanent deletion because I do not want anyone to take my URL. Instead, I have just gotten rid of all my content. Only my blank background page will stay up.
Inshallah after my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow, things will start getting better.
I hope one day I can come back and blog about how I got a happy ending from all this pain. <3
I’m Deleting My Tumblr. (Read if you care)
Hey guys.
So the past two and a half months have been fun. But it’s time to say goodbye.
I am writing this with a calm and clear head. I’m not having a depression attack and I’m not high. I am going to try my best to keep this as short as possible.
There are many reasons why I believe that it is necessary for me to delete tumblr. Basically, my already introverted and broken personality has been getting more and more introverted ever since I actively started blogging on tumblr two and a half months ago. Every time I feel especially depressed, I look forward to going on tumblr and letting it all out and then drowning my sorrows in all the sadness on my dashboard. It was therapeutic at first but I think I have come to the point where it is counter-productive.
Also, I have realized that there are many people on tumblr who spend most of their time tumbling, even though they are smart and healthy and have the opportunity to do something better with their lives than living on the internet. I do not want to become that sort of person. I deleted facebook a long long time ago as well because I was weary of trying to maintain a second life on the internet while living one out in the real world. Unfortunately, life in the real world is harder than life on tumblr and the internet in general so escaping is much easier. But that doesn’t make it better.
I think it is important for me to take a step back from all of this and reanalyze myself, just as I did after everything that happened to me from late 2009 to early 2010. That was the period in my life where I first started truly soul-searching, and I think I need to do so again.
Regardless of all of its benefits and comfort, tumblr is just like any other social networking site: a waste of time. I hope you guys know that I am not trying to offend anyone. I believe there are people out there that can have accounts like this and still have a fantastic life in the real world. But I am not one of them. I am addicted to my misery and blogging about it just makes me become swallowed up by my darkness. It ends up becoming the only thing that I think about. I can’t focus on anything else or think about anything else.
The new tumblr policy has managed to depress me and alienate me to the tumblr-world as well. It just reinforces the fact that society is so cold and hostile towards depression and mental illness.
Also, I am tired of being judged by people who know nothing about me yet blame me for my own depression as if I choose to feel this way. To them: Fuck you.
I need to focus on improving myself and on completing my education. My depression level has gotten worse ever since I started blogging, even though I’ve also had a lot of healthy release.
I guess what I truly needed tumblr for was to express my sharpest and darkest emotions. However, I have realized that I can do that on a site like Penzu without all of the complications that come from having an account like tumblr.
I have started to judge myself and my writing based on the opinions of other people and I do not want to do that. Tumblr is the reason I rediscovered my poetic passion and for that I am truly grateful. I have learned a lot about myself in the past 2 and a half months and a lot about the other people in the world. I have learned that I am not alone in the way that I feel and you have no idea what an incredibly immense comfort that is. I have learned that there are other people who struggle with multiple insanities just like I do and who also fight for the right to live every day. This has truly managed to move me in a way that I didn’t think was possible before. Tumblr has showed me a softer side to humanity which I truly cherish.
But it is time for me to move on. It is time for me to pull myself out of this hole that I have fallen into again and to focus more on myself and on taking care of myself.
I want anyone who bothers to read this to know that I truly care about you and all of you have managed to touch my life in some small way, and I hope that I have touched yours too. Thank you so much for all of your love and support. I wish you all the best and I hope that all of your pain is eventually healed someday, or that you at least are able to reach the point where you can forgive this life for being so hard on you (I, myself, am millions of miles away from being able to do this), and to face what is left of it with the utmost stability and serenity. May all your dreams come true.
-Anmol
Tumblr’s new policy will ban blogs posting “content that actively promotes or glorifies self-injury or self-harm. This includes content that urges or encourages readers to cut or mutilate themselves; embrace anorexia, bulimia, or other eating disorders; or commit suicide.”
This could include pictures of cuts, burns, or scars; pictures of emaciated/ thin/ boney/ eating-disordered people; pictures of suicide; “thinspiration” ; or pictures of words (for example a photo of highlighted words from a book) about the issues self-harm, eating disorders, or suicide.
We, as the users of Tumblr, often post or reblog content such as this, but NOT for the purposes of encouraging others, or ourselves, to engage in damaging behaviour, or for the purpose of triggering our own or others’ mental disorders. We simply post this content because it is an accurate representation of our own thoughts and feelings that we would not otherwise be able to express: to us it is a form of therapy.
We feel that taking this form of self-expression away from us would serve no other purpose than to damage us. This content is not posted with malicious intent: indeed, many of us have “trigger warnings” or disclaimers on our blogs stating this. We feel we cannot be held responsible for how viewers of our blogs interpret the content we post: they visit our blog in order to follow it, so can see the disclaimers, and after all they are not under duress to follow our blogs or view what we post.
In conclusion: the only change necessary is that blogs concerning these topics should at most be required to have a disclaimer or “trigger warning”, or links to recovery sites on their main blog page. It is wrong to shut these blogs down, especially seeing as they have helped so many people suffering from mental disorders by offering them a network of support from other people going through the same thing.
PLEASE: Reblog to spread the word.
